Ooops.

“Dear Daniel L Chao, 

It has come to my attention that you received an X, the symbol for 
incomplete, in the following course(s) during the previous semester. 

Department/Course/Grade 
   ACC        152    X 
   ACC        391C    X 

This symbol was assigned by your instructor to indicate certain 
required coursework is missing or by the Registrar to indicate 
that a final grade or symbol was not reported.  If you have 
not done so, you should contact your instructor(s) 
immediately.  You must complete the missing requirements 
for the course and have the instructor assign a final course 
grade on or before the last date for grade reporting this 
semester.  If the work is not completed within the time 
limit, the symbol X will change to a grade of F on your 
permanent record.  Do not register again for any course 
in which you have received an incomplete (X).” 

I’d like to say that this wasn’t my fault and that my professor failed to give me further instruction as to what to do with my “independent study course”… but oh wait, SHE DIDN’T. Eh, I was also too lazy to bother… sooo here’s to adding another 4 hours of course work to this semester. 

3 Notes

Now that I’m back on campus… let this be a good reminder for me (and maybe even you)

-originally posted on April 3rd, 2011.


Written by a good friend of mine.. one of whose words reflect deeply and directly into my life. (except for the fact that she’s a woman) The friend reference in this post? Yeah, that was me. I sat next to her as I explained to her the convictions that I’ve had since coming into this damn competitive environment. Glad to be able to connect with someone within McCombs who shares the same thoughts as I do.

And so it begins…  

“I’m currently freezing in a room, confined to a 3 by 2 cubicle – but, my mind has never felt so free.

 

Even if I am shivering, my heart has never felt so warm. I feel grounded in something much deeper.

I open with this:

Since entering the business school, I’ve continually been asked “describe yourself in three words”, “what words best describe you”, “tell me about yourself”.  Upon being asked these questions, my heart pounds, my thoughts race: one day I am happy, one day I am sad. Sure I am optimistic, but what about those times when I want to give up on life and faith in people? I’m selfless! (Wait, that’s unoriginal…). I love chocolate – but how can that describe me? Finance is something I’m passionate about but, my knowledge is minimal.  HARRY POTTER! I love shopping but…that sounds superficial. I’m loving (SO cliche…). I’m ambitious but not always…

I use to hate being asked these questions, dreadful. It was impossible to me to find words to describe myself, because I find myself constantly changing. My thoughts are fickle, my identity is unclear to even me – why are these questions even created?!

But, wait a minute, how stupid am I? After a recent talk with a friend, I realized: describing myself is the easiest question ever to answer. In fact fellow recruiters, ask me that in interviews and I’ll gladly have a 30 minute-1 hour discussion with you on ONE word that describes me: Christian.

I love my God. I love the things He has shown me from my failures, I love how jealous He is for my attention/affection, I love how unfailing He is, how dependable He is, how unending His forgiveness is…the list goes on…

Most important: I love His selfless love that spurred him to send the only righteous person to die for my sins, Jesus Christ.

Everything that I represent should reflect what God is to me. I should want to reflect the most important thing in my life to others around me. People should not have to ask me “what words best describes you” – it should be evident in my actions, my words, my faith.

After my talk with my friend, I felt convicted and ashamed. People have told me, the business world is for the soul-less. The material comes easy, the life-style is the challenge.

I thought, what life-style? The money? The excitement? The success? Yeah…that’s a real challenge.

I wanted to be a confident, faith-driven woman who lived her life for God, not for the world and those in it. I wanted to put my full trust in God to give me a community and a career and a life that fully highlighted Him in every aspect, because I knew with that would come the happiness, the satisfaction, the true success.

So where did I go wrong?

I lost sight of what I wanted to be, I lost that confidence that I gained from my God because I honestly lost sight of my God. Slowly, I traded (as my friend so beautifully put it) my spiritual walk for my professional climb.

Entering into my sophomore year, the downward spiraling continued. Resume building, workshops, grades, networking…

Not once did I stop and ask God, is this for me? Is this what you have planned for me? Is this career in business really what is in the cards for me?

I led a small group, and felt at times, my heart warm to the words of God – but, it never strayed me from my path of self-seeking destruction.

This brings me to junior year: November 12th, 2010, my awesome friend reveals to me his conviction of being so consumed in the professional world of the business school. Being altered by the pressure, competition, to trade all moral principles for a place with the best.

My self realization: my identity has become what internship offers I am given, what my grade is in comparison to the class average, my resume.

Sure, in the past, there were times where I convicted myself, but I swallowed that, until it was cold stone that became my heart. I was burned by others along the way so I took shelter in the pursuit of worldly desires, taking for granted the gospel and my Father’s forgiveness. Instead, I actively, hungrily pursued school and grades in hopes of creating an identity that this school, and the people in it, would accept and admire…be envious of. Instead of thirsting for my God’s approval and love and relationship, I thirsted to establish myself to those in the future who would be playing a hand in (what I thought/ still struggle in thinking, was/is my future, my life) my career. That’s right, I wanted the approval of these people whom I haven’t even met yet?

Note: I’m not criticizing those who do find this thirst satisfying. Of course not. What makes you happy, what drives you, is your identity. This post is written in regards to how I have lost my identity and found it on things that have given me no happiness or satisfaction.

In all this reflection, I realized why it was so difficult to define myself. I was approaching this question entirely wrong. I was only thinking of myself in worldly terms, in how I would want the world to view me – because my identity changed.

I want people to see me as beautiful, successful, smart, confident, happy, loving, unselfish, giving, forgiving…

Guess where that’s gotten me? No where.

I’m left insecure, unsure, and disappointed.

How easy it all could have been if I would have just allowed myself to accept and sum myself up in one sentence: I am a Christian.

But, there is  silver lining my friends. I see that throughout all this, my God has sat and waited patiently. He has never given up. In my hardships, I cried out to Him – and He answered – just to watch me flee back into my worldly desires and chases. He is indescribable to me. And there in lies the beautiful relationship that I want to rebuild myself on.

I have faith in a God that has never physically shown Himself but who’s existence is my identity.  Everything I am, everything I was, everything I want to be – is found through you, God.

I am forgiving because my God forgives.
I am patient because my God is patient.
I am loving because my God is loving.
I am loved because my God is jealous for me.
I am happy because I am blessed in so many aspects because of my God.
I am saved because my Savior died for me.

So, I end with this:

Though I am struggling and probably will struggle with this transformation, I will find myself again. I crave to be the adolescent girl who first stepped foot on the campus, eager to change the business world with God as her foundation and faith as her shield.”

“All my security, my destiny, what lies ahead is found in You
all my hopes and dreams, my thoughts unseen, all my wants are found in you
what I dread and fear, all that weighs me down, all my trust is found in You
You’re my sustaining breath, all that gives me strength,
all life-giving is found in You”

Found, Aaron Ivey

3 Notes

I should be studying for my GMAT this Friday

but instead, I’m listening to house music with my newly bought headphones. It’s like a free concert at my desk without the sweaty bodies bumping up against me. Awesome.

Oh hai http://www.glennmorrison.com/

Somebody help me…

3 Notes
They grow up so fast.. =) I hope you’ve enjoyed your past month in Houston as much as I have. 

They grow up so fast.. =) I hope you’ve enjoyed your past month in Houston as much as I have. 

59259 Notes
scaryface: Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approximately. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. 4 minutes later:The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk. 6 minutes:A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again. 10 minutes:A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly. 45 minutes:The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32. 1 hour:He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100. This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities. *In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? *Do we stop to appreciate it? The questions raised: *Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context? One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made… How many other things are we missing?

scaryface:

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approximately. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities.

*In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

*Do we stop to appreciate it?

The questions raised:

*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made…

How many other things are we missing?

(Source: apeculiarsprezzatura, via netzeees)

1 Notes

you sneaky mom..

16087 Notes
toptumbles: Every time can’t say this isn’t true.. lol

toptumbles:

Every time

can’t say this isn’t true.. lol

2415 Notes
toptumbles: Awesome world map

toptumbles:

Awesome world map

48023 Notes
Tribute in Light: Following the attacks of September 11th, the skyline of New York has been lit up on every anniversary since with 88 searchlights to mark where the Twin Towers used to stand. Tomorrow, on the 10th anniversary, the lights will be turned on for the last time. We will always remember. 

Tribute in Light: Following the attacks of September 11th, the skyline of New York has been lit up on every anniversary since with 88 searchlights to mark where the Twin Towers used to stand. Tomorrow, on the 10th anniversary, the lights will be turned on for the last time.

We will always remember. 

(via kevhn)

1 Notes

Tomorrow is my last day of work.

oh.. that and the fact that I’ll also be working till December with another firm in Houston. 

… I want to be back on campus. I will never take my time at UT for granted… EVER AGAIN. =)

http://www.danielchao.tumblr.com